I wish there were such a thing as Free Money. I really just want to get a credit card and buy a couple new shirts... and a lot of jewelry. Ahhh I need jewelry so badly.
I have lots of work this weekend so I'm going to be working for the next two days straight. Then also, I am taking my Japanese Final early because I am leaving Friday morning.
I hate my life right now I just want to sleep.
I wish boys weren't so stupid and papers would write themselves...
love cbear

BEST SPRING BREAK EVER!

I'm having so much fun vegging at home! yay!

Love cbear

I never loved nobody fully
Always one foot on the ground
And by protecting my heart truly
I got lost in the sounds
I hear in my mind
All these voices
I hear in my mind all these words
I hear in my mind all this music

And it breaks my heart
And it breaks my heart
And it breaks my heart
It breaks my heart

And suppose I never met you
Suppose we never fell in love
Suppose I never ever let you kiss me so sweet and so soft
Suppose I never ever saw you
Suppose we never ever called
Suppose I kept on singing love songs just to break my own fall
Just to break my fall
Just to break my fall
Break my fall
Break my fall

All my friends say that of course its gonna get better
Gonna get better
Better better better better
Better better better

I never love nobody fully
Always one foot on the ground
And by protecting by heart truly
I got lost
In the sounds
I hear in my mind
All these voices
I hear in my mind all these words
I hear in my mind
All this music
And it breaks my heart
It breaks my heart

I hear in my mind all of these voices
I hear in my mind all of these words
I hear in my mind all of this music

Breaks my
Heart
Breaks my heart
-Regina Spektor



I know how you feel Diane! haha!
love cbear

I just got the biggest craving for a McDonald's hamburger.

I hate McDonalds and their hamburgers so that was weird. I do remember one of the first times I had one of their burgers. I remember I was on a trip somewhere and I was eating that flat burger in a hotel room. Kinda creepy.
I do love Sonic burgers though, I don't know how I am going to survive without them. They're sooo packed with lots of goodies. Uhhh I really want oneeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee. *crying a bit*

O my burger,
How I love thee,
Let me count the ways,
1-your cheesey goodness
2-your soft bun-ness
3-your sauciness
4-your letuce-ness
5-your tomato-ness
6-your pickle-ness
O my burger,
If only you were Vegetarian.

I miss juicy hamburgers.
Love
cbear


My ex-hero.

I want to cry, but no tears come out.
I want to be happy, but my face won't move.
I want to lie, but my heart won't let me.
I want to feel, but I fear instead.
I want to die, but my heart keeps beating.
I want to see, but my eyes are covered.
I just want to cry. Why can't I cry?

failed physics test
failed precalc test
somewhat failed latin test
head is spinning
freezing
want cake
want to go home
need sleep
hate people
need to shave
feel queasy
mad at time
mad at distance
want to puke
chewed nails
nervous
going to shower

I used to write a lot of poems. I was pretty good at cutesie ones. Now I only write poems when I'm sad and depressed. Here is one from Freshman year. Enjoy.
Note of precaution: It is supposed to be like a poem from Roman times, and I used to play hockey.

Claire, the ice runner, versus Wealdburg, winner of all!

Wealdburg, winner of all rolls out of the mere
stealthily sneaking into Snakebirth where
Claire, ice runner lives.
Wealdburd waits wondering when the time will come.
to rip, tear and tarnish the white pure ice!
red hair flaring fire in the wind, skates tipped
sharp and poisonous ready to fight!
Claire, the ice runner, rushed to the scene,
eyes alert, awaiting the enemies entrance.
Wealdburg appears astounded to be found.
“Why come Wealdburg, to come and conquer?” asked Claire.
“I have a proposal your perfectness?”
“Continue with your ridiculous request!”
“We all know you’re the winner of wondrous skating events,
but I have a perfect proposal for you!
I, Wealdbur, winner of all, challenge you,
Claire, the ice runner, to a skating standoff!”
“What happens if you, Wealdburg, win?”
“If I win, Snakebirth stays as a kingdom
but under me not you, cunning Claire!”
“And if I wondrously win?”
“You shall grow in glory and receive more
and more marvelous treasures!”
“So what do you thin the throbbing length should be?”
“When the Mediterranean freezes fully, which should…
be tonight. We shall see who can make it over to Egypt the fastest, then back!”
“Why would I trust you? You smell of fish….
you lie long lies! And I ….
I have won hundreds of heavy treasures from my
skating skills, which you shall find out in a second!
when the dreaded darkness comes for you,
you shall find out first, that I am the best.
When I skated smoothly against you father,
I finished him in first! We traveled, just the same
as you and I shall skate, across the Mediterranean and back!
Out of his pocket he pulled a sword,
we were going against each other by sword until
the dew and wonder smell of morning magically came!
At the last moment I quickly finished your father with one blow!
Do you still think highly and hubris of yourself now,
Wealdburg, winner of all?????”





Cara and I are engaged to be. We don't know when the wedding is.